Alright. Momma is getting a bit stir-crazy here. I want to be doing the best stuff for Oscar, and I do work him pretty hard, but really, how many times can I sing my ABC's and "Oh Mister Sun" to a semi-nonresponsive little person before I totally lose my mind? What kind of schedule should I be aiming at here? What do other people do with their kids? Oscar is coming up on three months and I want him to be thriving and stimulated and all those things that well-loved children are.
So far, my daily schedule goes something like this, give or take an hour or two...
6:30-7: Struggle to awakeness, remember "Wait a minute! I'm someone's mother." Get up, feed/water cats, nurse baby, kiss husband goodbye and start the countdown until he comes home from work.
7:15: Watch CNN on the pretense that I needed to be informed about daily events while balancing Oz on my legs and dangling various annoying toys.
8:00: Sing, play games, roll around on floor with baby. Worry simultaneously that everything I was doing was extraneous and a middle-class woman's luxury and that I should just be strapping my baby on my back and going about my normal work, and that I wasn't doing enough to stimulate him so he'd never reach his full potential.
9:00: Baby goes down for a nap. I wonder what to do with the free time. Should I wash dishes or do laundry? Fix myself some breakfast? Call my mother? Take a shower? By the time I figure out what to do, Oscar is waking up.
9:30: Nurse Oscar again.
10:15: Strap Oscar into his bouncy chair and plop him down in the bathroom doorway so I could sing to him while I take a shower OR put on makeup. He tolerates this.
11:00: Sing, play games, roll around on floor with baby. Worry simultaneously that everything I was doing was extraneous and a middle-class woman's luxury and that I should just be strapping my baby on my back and going about my normal work, and that I wasn't doing enough to stimulate him so he'd never reach his full potential, again.
12:10: Nurse Oscar (yeah, not quite 3 hours later.. thanks, little guy), usually while watching a Seinfeld episode or two. I'm up to season 7 now. Yowsers.
1:00: Eat lunch (kind of) while watching another Seinfeld episode. Oscar naps in the sling as I balance a bowl of coos-coos and sugar-free jello.
2:30: Oscar gets pissy about the position he's fallen asleep in while in the sling and he cries until I can pull him out and get him calmed down again.
2:45: Give up soothing him and just nurse Oscar. While nursing, think about all the things I'm going to do while the baby is asleep again. Wake up an hour later in a puddle of drool on the pillow. Baby wakes up 10 minutes later.
4:00: Play more games with the baby. Read to the baby. Sing to the baby. Get up and dance around with the baby. Play with baby while baby's doing Tummy Time. Give up and turn on the TV. Start wondering if it's too early for my husband to have left work.
6:00: Husband walks in. Hand him the baby, then escape to the computer to work on pictures I've taken throughout the day of my adorable little boy. Oh, yeah.
There it is, my schedule for the most part. As Oscar gets bigger, his eating schedule gets a bit more regular, so I can actually start plotting out this type of thing. Yeah, so I need a mommy group, I believe. Also, I need to get out of the house. Anybody got any suggestions? (And please don't say go for a walk. It's December.)
EDIT: Thanks guys for all the awesome ideas and comments. It helps knowing that I am not alone. Oscar and I had our first outdoor adventure today (well, first outdoor adventure without "dad") and it was not without incident! We went for a walk down to the nearby library (about a 10 minute walk)and I got honked at by a guy in a landscaping truck and a guy driving a dang school bus. Really. A school bus! And I was just minding my own, walking on the sidewalk. Puleease. And when I got home from the walk back, I couldn't get the stupid car seat detached from the stroller (it is a whole "system" thing). I tried for a good 8 minutes before saying screw it and shoving the whole thing into the garage. Oh well. Oscar was as good as gold, though. And I seriously needed the fresh air, not to mention the exercise for my physical issues!
A story about two brothers...
5 comments:
You definitely need adult contact. Try to find a mommy group. The hospital might have a contact... Or you might try Gymboree. It's expensive, but one session might be all you need to make some new friends.
Just know that the women you meet at mommy group will be your closest friends until the children go to school. Then all bets are off because they will all go to different schools and do different activities... but it's okay.
You might consider taking Oscar to the mall for some mall walking early in the morning. I used to take both of mine in the stroller. We'd walk as much as we could before the place got too crowded and then we'd leave.
And it's okay to walk in December. In the afternoon, it gets a little warmer. Bundle yourselves up and take a 15 or 20 min. jaunt. You need a change of pace.
I used to put #1 in his car seat and stick him on the table while I did dishes or baking. He could watch and we'd sing... Okay, so I would sing... I even painted a room with him sitting in the middle of it. (Desperate times call for desperate measures...)
You might want to contact your church. There might be a mommy and me group meeting or a MOPS chapter.
You're never going to meet other moms in your situation unless you get out there!! You need to get out of your house...
xoxo
LBC
I did the same thing down here in Nashville without many opportunities to leave the apartment or much adult contact. It was pretty hard. I was also struggling to make sure I was doing everything right. Like when John was a month or two old a report came out that I was supposed to make sure he heard 30,000 words a day. 30,000?!??!! Good fracking grief!!
At some point, I just gave up and started to relax. I started to do things that worked and things that I wanted to do rather than what I was "supposed" to do. You don't really have to sing him his ABC's unless you are really inspired. There's no possible way your child isn't going to be brilliant and creative.
For me, I upped my available minutes so I could call my mom every day if I needed to, and realized that letting him cry for a minute or two wasn't going to ruin his sense of security for life. Now at eight months I've got most of his environment Montessori-friendly so he can just do his thing beside me while I do mine. It was interesting, however, how opposed I was to going back to work before he came - but it didn't take long for me to realize why so many women want to do it!!
I must say I felt about the same and after 6 months although was scared about going back to work after jsut a few weeks I FELT better and realised I was a better mom because I did that!
Failing that try to get out of the house every day, shopping a coffee, seeing a friend, exercise class on you own. I DO go out for walks in the middle ofwinter too! Bundle up and even if it's just for 5 min I feel better and it kills time! Get a dog/pet - I know that may not be an option BUT it did may me feel better :)
You'll make it through this and good luck!
Angela (Autumn's sister)
PS been watching with interest. Are you planning on going back to work?
Been thinking of you all day today and hope that is is well.
hah ha haha ha, you seriously had me laughing out loud. you are so crazy, I particularly loved 8 and 11am. It is definitely a Mom's lot to worry herself silly about anything and everything. Just know you are doing a great job! Oscar is seriously one lucky kid! You would be a great mom without even trying. oh, and don't forget to have fun. (at the risk of sounding way older than I am - it does go by so fast :) oh, and how about Mommy naps, that is the most important part of the schedule isn't? :) I used to take Luke to the mall all of the time. Now, I take them both on errands, stop for a treat, and sometimes the library. I so wish we lived closer!!!
Post a Comment