Friendships

So here I am, trapped at my domicile. Between waddling back and forth from my bedroom to my (drywall dust filled) bathroom, I've been catching up on my reading. I have TONS of Mothering magazines (thanks Beck) and Parenting magazines to catch up on, not to mention some fun fantasy books by Diana Wynne Jones and whatnot.

Anyways, I came across a quote I wanted to add here today. I think Becky already mentioned in her baby blog this really great article from Ani DiFranco in the May/June Mothering mag. I'm gonna quote from it again cause I get it now. The quote is in reference to assumptions of motherhood that irk her. And lately, it has really irked me too.

...that sort of unspoken assumption that as you become a parent you become more conservative; that it's a process of indoctrination, and you'll fall into teaching your child conformity. It doesn't feel that way to me. I see in the eyes of some friends who don't have kids yet, "See ya. There goes the person I know and here comes the parent."

I have to admit that I had some friends who I thought would not be into, and not get, me having a baby. But they are into it, and they do get it so well. Others who I thought would be more into it... it turns out that they have no way of relating to a woman with a kid, or relating to a kid.

I've been dealing with certain friends who have not taken the "baby" news as well as I had hoped, and that is a frustration to me. And as my bundle of joy will soon arrive, I wonder how that will change those friendships. It sucks to be sitting here trapped and having those kind of thoughts on my mind. And it's easy to just say "Well, those friendships are just not worth it anymore, then." But that is hard to say about friends you've had for a long time. I don't know. At least it's nice to finally be able to vocalize my feelings. Thanks Ani. And if someone would blow off a friendship with a person as cool as she is, then I shouldn't feel so bad.